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My friend Porter once remarked to me that he thought Amazon.com knew him better than any of his friends. I think this was largely based on the fact that Amazon.com actually knew when his birthday was. But the website also knew his favorite music, the kind of books that he liked to read, his taste in movies, etc.

The "recommendation" feature on commercial websites makes obvious sense. Based on your prior purchases, companies can market products in a very personalized manner. That way, when the new Old 97's CD comes out, they know exactly who to call. Porter. Or me. Their music provides the soundtrack of our friendship.

But sites like Amazon.com aren't my best friends. They're more like friends of my friends that I met at a party one time. And maybe I was really funny that night and I left a strong impression, so when I see them later on, they remember me for the things that I was talking about that night.

But maybe on that particular night, I had gone to a Coldplay concert the night before. And it was pretty fantastic. And so maybe it really dominated my conversation for that particular night.

But then every time I see my friend's friend after that, she makes all sorts of assumptions about the things I'd like to talk about.

"So I was checking out Guy Berryman's blog the other day, because I knew I'd be seeing you."

"Uh, ok..."

"And apparently, he's a big collector of vintage instruments (which I probably don't have to tell you), and he's like some big nerd about old-timey electronic gadgets and stuff."

"Yeah, sure."

"And then I was at the message boards over on inmyplace.net, and I was trying to guess what your handle was on the message boards there. I was guessing that you are either MartinFan11 or FixU924."

"Ok, it's just that I'm not sure what you're talking about right now."

"Coldplay! Your... favorite band ever. The only thing you ever talk about."

"No. I think you've misunderstood. I'm... a person. I like lots of things."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I understand. Well, if you like Coldplay, you must also like Keane. We can talk about them too."


So now whenever I go to Amazon, I get treated as though I absolutely LOVE all of these weird things. Because Amazon doesn't just sell music, movies and books. But they apply the same recommendation principles to all of their products.

"Hey Bret! You're just in time! We've got a TON of shaving gel in stock, and right now if you purchase 4, you'll get the 5th one free! And based on your past purchases (1 spatula), you may be interested in our brand new Spatula store - with over 30 brands of available spatulas.


And none of this is to suggest that I don't love Amazon.com. I do. It allows me to purchase a spatula with little to no human interaction. In fact, I was reminded of this weird internet phenomenon not because of Amazon.com, but because I recently had some flowers sent to my girlfriend through 1800flowers.com.

And ever since, I've been getting emails advertising their various flower specials. As if the typical flower-buying customer doesn't buy flowers for specific events or situations, but rather because he was able to get a great deal on an Orange and Yellow Lily Bouquet. At 15 lilies for $39.99, occasions for buying flowers create themselves!

Maybe I should start creating arguments with my girlfriend because I have to justify why there are going to be a stunning gathering of creamy, pink-hued celosia, pale pink hyacinths and stunning ‘Aqua’ roses, woven together in an intricate posy shape arriving in a classic square frosted vase the next morning at her doorstep.

Or maybe I'm just a guy who bought flowers online one time because I was out of town for my girlfriend's birthday. And maybe it's pretty likely that I never buy flowers online again. And maybe, if you knew me well enough to feel like you can tell which flowers I might like, then you should at least know that.